..Your mercies in disguise.

I'm seem to be having a hard day today...not sure if its because I've been away from Ella, Liss & Brady for almost 4 days now, or if its hearing the pain in my sissy's voice this morning on the phone.

Ella is still  doing wonderfully...she was extubated yesterday, so she's now breathing on her own again, and they have even been able to hold her (though not very comfortably, as she still has a lot of tubes), off and on. Slowly they've been weaning her off of her meds and I guess the last day or so she's been pretty upset  whenever she's awake, which has been hard for Lissa and Brady to watch. The Drs & nurses have checked her over multiple times and say everything still looks good, but it would still be so painful to watch your baby cry and not being able to do something to fix it. They nurses told them that Ella "does not like to be bothered (especially when she's sleeping!)" so basically, they said she'll let you know if she's pissed off...and tiny little Ella has quite the lungs on her. :) I wouldn't have expected anything less from Rilynne's cousin...ha.

Yes, I know newborn babies cry a lot, and we all know that, but given the circumstances it just makes it a bit more difficult because they find themselves wondering..is it something more? Is she hurting or hungry? Are they missing something? Ever since Ella was born (8 days ago), they've been giving her nutrients and vitamins through one of her IVs, but she still hasn't been able to actually drink milk..they said they have to wait until she's completely off these certain meds. ..Feed my baby!!!! I told Liss I think Ella is perfectly fine and that she's in the best place she could possibly be...Ella just knows they're holding out on the milk! That or she just misses her Auntie Ashy..aka "Madame M,"...and wants me to come back there and snuggle her. :) Either way, its really stressing Lissa out. They went back to the Ronald McDonald house so they could let Ella hopefully sleep, distraction free, and maybe get some sleep themselves...as you can imagine though, sleep doesn't come too easily in times like these.

So I'm praying for peace & strength for my beautiful niece and her amazing, exhausted parents, and hoping it makes it there soon, past LA traffic and straight to my Ella's heart. <3

This remains one of my favorite songs...I think anybody can relate to it. :)

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Courtesy of lyricshall.com
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching(s) of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise